13.5.10

Just Don't Do It!

To the special little RITARD who is so close to me, that if I even think about tapping my breaks, you would run right into me. Calm Down!!  I am annoyed that I can see you in my rear view mirror swerving in and out of traffic in and out in and out!! You're cutting everybody off and you think you are cool. At least that is what I get from your style of driving, one hand on the steering wheel, laid back like you are about to watch a movie in a recliner with popcorn or you're about to get a pedicure. That probably suits you best.


AND....... there is a BIG AND! You are driving an old ladies car while wearing a BYU hat backwards you special little ritard. Wow. I have nothing against old lady vehicles. I used to drive a Crown Victoria with Tapia in old english on the back window. I loved that car. Payed off, I wouldn't get hurt if I were in a wreck, it had velvet seats, It was the size of a boat and my husband and brother- in- law were nice enough to make a sticker with my maiden name written in old english for the back window.


I have nothing against BYU, but we all know that kids coming from that school aren't dangerous. Some might drink, some might swear, some might even have a full beard and mustache. You are still not dangerous. Remember when you are riding someone that close you could cause a horrible wreck and kids may be involved and if kids are involved you may have a mom who turns into the incredible hulk/Satan right in front of your eyes and drills your skinny  special little body into the ground right in front of every person who is watching, with no shame. So you special tiny little ritard, DON'T RIDE SO CLOSE BEHIND ME, I HAVE PRECIOUS CARGO ON BOARD!!! You hear me you special little ritard?

2 comments:

Matthew said...

while incredibly offensive to physically and mentally handicapable people everywhere (even though it's not the correct spelling and i'm assuming you did that on purpose), i love the negativity. It feels good doesn't it? screaming into the computer while writing a scathing blog on idiots. Welcome to my life in a nutshell.

Aricka said...

I know, I need to calm down before I write my posts. This was written right after it happened and haven't you ever seen Hangover? "Tell that to Rainman, he was a ritard and nearly bankrupt a casino."-Hangover