I am impatient

So do you ever go to the store and not want to talk or deal with anyone? Avoid eye contact?  Most of my shopping trips are that way. I love to walk into the store grab what I need and hit the self- check out line. I don't have time to let a checker check my stuff out anymore and really, I don't want to hear about your grand-kids. My kids are screaming and raising hell cause they want to leave just as much as I do.  Even at the library you can check out your own books. You don't have to deal with the dude sitting behind the desk giving you the stank eye cause your two year old is pulling every book off the shelf. Which he has pulled off some interesting ones. Such as: The First Hispanic Woman Pilot. Hmmm...

Early Tuesday about 7 in the morning I had to run into Albertsons for some cereal and  milk. I needed to hurry so I could get back to Zeke and feed him and send him on his little way to school. I am rushing through the isles grabbing stuff and putting it into my cart, I am done so I hurry towards the self- checkout line and right when I am about to get there this lady says, " Did you find everything you need? I can help you right here." Crap!!! She's super old too! I wanted to say, "Yes, I found everything and no you can't help me." I can't say that, I'm too nice. So she is pulling things out of my cart one at a time and telling me a story in between each item. Beep... I watched my grandkids the other day for my daughter. Beep...She went on vacation with her husband. Beep...She was so surprised that I got them off to school on time. Not happening for me today! Beep...She asked me what I did to make that happen. At this point I wanted to grab the rest of my items out of my cart and chuck them back into the isles. I was regretting the raspberries I got. Beep...I just told my grand kids if any of you are late I am going to make you clean all the toilets.

Then when she finally got done checking all my regretted items, she held my receipt hostage until she finished her story. My hand was in the air wanting to grab it and  I was staring at her like, what in the hell lady I have to leave!!! My kid is going to go to school starved cause I would rather him miss breakfast and catch the bus so I don't have to load up my other three children and drive him. Yes, I just said that. I am never going to Albertsons again unless there is a plentiful of very old people who want to have those five minute conversation with the checkers.

1 comment:

Matthew said...

Wow, this is by far my favorite one so far. Nice work. 1st, try growing a beard. People think i'm dangerous because i have a beard, in turn keeping conversations to a minimum, if they even happen at all. 2nd, don't ever, EVER, look your check out lady in the face, this only spawns unwanted conversation. i figured you would have known this one. and last but not least, 3rd, practice being rude to your kids, that way, when needed, you can translate it to the real world.