The Outing

For Christmas my mom sent me a gift card to Old Navy. If anyone knows me then they know I love to shop. I don't care who I am shopping for or what I am shopping for. I get excited to shop for chap stick. And it just so happens that my sweet mother in law bought my kids some clothes from Old Navy. Some of the clothes didn't fit my little Kingston, so I needed to exchange. I mean come on, she is shopping for 10 grandkids. I have a hard time doing it for just my four. So since my mom gave me a gift card and I needed to exchange some things, I thought I would pick up Zeke and Zara from school and we would go to Old Navy!! So I pull up and try to surprise them and I am smiling big hoping they don't notice that I am picking them up and as soon as they see me they're like, mom why can't we ride the bus?! Wha, Wha, Wha. So I ignore their cry, like every good mom does and we head to Old Navy. My mom lives in California and she really misses my kids and feels bad that she is not closer to them. So I let the kids know that this gift card is from their grandma Kim in California and she wants them to buy what they want. It was a good idea at first. As soon as my kids came across those stupid Old Navy balls that are like five dollars, not even the big ones I am talking about the dwarf balls. (No offense to dwarfs or their balls) All four of my kids hit the ground begging for those little balls. I said, no, grandma doesn't want you to buy that. Then when I saw their disapproving faces about my poor mom who has nothing to do with it, I changed the wording. I mean, grandma really wants you to buy cool clothes that you will want to wear everyday. Another bad comment, but we will cross that bridge when we come to it. So the three older ones 6, 5 and 3 are running around Old Navy picking up every newborn, 8T, 12to24 month clothing until I finally say, okay here are your sizes, go find what you like. I am actually pretty impressed on what they picked out. Zeke was trying to be responsible so he picked out socks that he really needed and some cute shirts. Zara wanted a cute beanie with gloves and we all know what happens when I pick out the beanie. Death to mom!! Dexter comes back with a black shirt with a huge heart on it that says I Love Music. hmmm... I guess that's okay. Right. So after the shopping spree at Old Navy we had to return a game to Barnes and Noble and on the way to Barnes and Noble, guess who we see? I will give you a little hint: Ho Ho Ho! Yea, we see Santa!! Duh, it's a mall, Aricka you idiot. So trying to be a good sport about the whole Christmas thing and making it special for the kids I wait in line for... I don't know, an hour! The whole time Kingston is screaming and wanting out of the stroller. I can't take him out because you know those dwarf balls at Old Navy, yea, I got him one and he wanted to throw it at every person that walked by. Zeke and Zara were both asking me, mom is that the real Santa? I said yes of coarse. And my nose grew.I totally lied straight to their faces and I felt bad. I wanted to say, well no but the real Santa is so busy getting ready to deliver all those toys around the world that he had to send his look alike.(I know it is still lying) When my kids asked that question they didn't exactly say it in a whisper so immediately I had eyes burning through my skull waiting for me to answer the question. Not only from the kids but from every adult in there taking their kid to see this look alike. After getting a big fat headache we reached Santa. It was the norm, the kids sat next to Santa, Kingston would only sit on Zeke. Zeke was telling Santa everything that he wanted for Christmas and I think for the rest of his life. Santa gave me a look like, okay take your kid he is talking my ear off. Well 12 dollars later we have proof that my kids saw Santa in the year of 2009. As we are leaving my kids and I have to walk by all those overpriced toys that you can sit in and it goes up and down or side to side. They all want their own ride so I dish out $1.50 so they can pretend they are flying in a real helicopter. (Kingston is still happy with the dwarf ball, so he doesn't need to ride) Whelp, to make a long story short only one of the rides worked and I lost 50 cents and gained 2 whining children. The parents that were watching looked at me like, ohh you lost money too, sorry. Why didn't they tell me? Oh I know misery loves company! So after the mechanical disappointment we are finally off to our car. I came in Dillard's and I went out Dillard's but I went out the wrong door in Dillard's. I was walking with my four kids in the snow with the wind blowing around the mall trying to find our truck. It seemed like we were out there for about 15 minutes. Finally!! our truck!! We get in, we buckle up, THEN, I HAVE TO GO PEE! Are you freakin kidding me? Someone, please shoot me! I can't hold it together anymore, I stood in line for an hour to see Santa, gained a headache, lost 50 cents, I bought a dwarf ball, I forgot where I parked and now my kids are all gonna pee their pants cause I am not taking them back into the MALL!!! Merry Christmas Everyone and Have a Happy New Year!

1 comment:

Laura said...

Wow Collin and I laugh a lot!!! I think that was an very well done post